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August 19th, 2009


11:02 am - Ignore me :D
Have, over a period of ten minutes, completely got over my teeth-gnashing angst. The person had too much of a point for it to hold up for long, I just detest the delivery that some people think is appropriate. I get very offended, very quickly, by condescension (thus reuslting in my LJ rants).

So, what else is there to say instead? Hmm, I'm partway through HTPD's next chapter, after which I may or may not be moving on to SII territory (I'm just not thinking about it yet, in order to remain undistracted). I love writing it again, though, it's a lot of fun ^__^ Ummm, my current univeristy unit is coming to a close, I await the results of my latest assignments with mild interest, and am thinking in the back of my mind that I probably should start studying for my exam at the start of September, but it's kind of clashing with this little voice that says, "I wonder how well I could do if I just wing it?" The little voice is very curious to see what the results would be. And at the end of the month, I start my new unit, Text, Image, Culture, which I'm sure will just be as utterly thrilling as it sounds 8D No doubt why they made it compulsory to my particular degree.

PS, though: I am so, so sick of reading about 'the critical self'. It is so. Boring.

Errrrrr, I've narrowly avoided having to go to a violin recital from a bunch of ten-year-olds, and yes, there was bribery involved, and that about sums me up right now, except that <lj user=sleepydoggie> has been in Toronto for about a week and I'm languishing without her around :) :(

Now, I need to go do one and all of the following: reply to some stuff, eat some pumpkin bread, and perform some home-surgery to remove my womb and all accompanying organs so I can live a pain-free life (and yes, that includes the possibility of children 8D)


Current Mood: [mood icon] calm

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August 7th, 2009


06:43 pm - Writer's Block: I May Be Crazy

What does this Rorschach blot look like to you?


View 548 Answers

Um, where am I meant to post the answer? I clicked 'answer' and it brought me here... to post a journal entry... so uh, I think it looks like a dark angel 0__________________0 Lol, not that I've got angels on the brain at the moment or anything :P

I don't actually have writer's block, thank goodness 8D


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July 1st, 2009


10:00 pm - *emo of doom*
So there's been this distinct sense of me being a black hole lately :S It takes me weeks/months to get anything out, and when I do, people leave me wonderful reviews that I don't even respond to, because I suddenly feel the sudden urge to go hide under a mountain of pillows and never necessarily come out. I'm kind of huddling lower and lower and watching myself get overtaken by other, much more active and energetic writers :S

So, um, reasons. First, my old standby of, wow, my iron is shockingly low. I'm on Fefol, so hopefully it'll pick up. I'm also on regular multi's, because I am... ridiculously tired. Always and forever. I get exhausted at the drop of a hat.

Second reason: as I announced a while back, university! It's fucking EXHAUSTING. I'm kind of fighting to keep my head above water at the moment (absolutely nooooothing to do with my two major projects due on Friday, noooooooo, notatall). I really, really need to shove my priorities into different positions, regarding that. It's pathetic how little of my time I'm devoting to my studies -.-;; And, uh, this is just part time. God knows how I'll fare when I start full-time come the end of August, eh.

Third reason: Focus is scattered like whoa, due to all of the above. Or, you know, both of the above, I guess. I'm currently working on Angel's Fallacy, but it's only ten pages long, and, um, I've had the first seven pages written since my computer died. So that's... three pages completed since I got HTPD's last chapter posted. Wow. I fail. And both Ohnult and HTPD were kind of difficult, too. I'm not really... in there anymore? Like, you know how my writing is supposed to be vivid? It's because I'm *in* there, I'm stomping in puddles and sniffing to see what the rain smells like before I attempt to describe it. But now, all of a sudden (or, you know, maybe over the course of a couple months) I'm  dull-eyed, sitting in a chair, staring at a screen :S

And yeah. I'm pressuring myself quite badly. I have this original story I'm supposed to be working on every now and again, and it, along with everything else writerly, is just not getting touched. *wipes face* I wish I was like I used to be - productive OTL Eesh. Anyway, this is my emo entry. It's been building up for a while, don'tchaknow. Just... don't start hating me or thinking I'm useless, and I'll begin trying to worm my way out of this neat little hole I've discovered myself in. Currently, writing feels like... wringing life energy onto a piece of paper, and I kind of need that energy to live 0______0 So, yes. I'mma go watch House now. It's finally back on kjagijhbhheb. Do love Hugh Laurie. And Jesse Spencer 8D
Current Mood: [mood icon] depressed
Current Music: Imogen Heap

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April 6th, 2009


10:42 pm - Starting Fresh!
I've cleaned up my LJ, got new icons and changed the layout, because I really need to start using this again. It feels like it's been so loonnnng since I actually properly posted.

I finished KH 2 for the first time as a hopeless fangirl yesterday afternoon - only the second time ever, I think, because what is an ending but an end to the fun? - and oh, man. I WAS SO DISAPPOINTED. I WAS LIKE, "STUPID KAIRI, WITH YOUR STUPID BOTTLED MESSAGE! THEY WERE GOING TO BE ALOOOOONE TOGETHER, FOREVER! "WE CAN BE THE DARKNESS." FUCK! Was most displeased >:[ Oh, oh, and the way Roxas came out to see *Namine* but didn't stir for Axel - my yaoi fangirl blood boiled. Lol, I like it much better, the version in my head. Much less PG, too :D

Okay, to business, since this is generally what I use this journal for - I feel so bad about the massive delay in HTPD, but as I've said on my FFnet profile, I'm working on two oneshots at the moment - well, one after another, at least ^^; The first one's a RiSo, On a Night Like This (affectionately known as 'Ohnult') and is at the almighty number of fifteen whole pages. :falls over and tantrums: It needs to start growing, dammit. Still, I've gotten past a sticky bit (that whole, 'the character is here and happy, I want him to be there and injured, HMM, HOW?' dilemma) and I'll make sure to try and get more sleep, so that my thoughts are better aligned... plus, I need to stop being such a distracted sonofabitch... The backlog from my absence is slowing me right down, but I'm starting to... move towards the middle? A little bit? I've never been so happy to find single-sentence, no-email-address reviews ^^;

Once I've completed the RiSo - hopefully within the month? - I'll be switching over to AkuRoku, based on the picture 'Angels' Fallacy' by Nijuuni on dA (it was posted the night my computer died :tears of despair:). She and <lj user="sleepydoggie"> BOTH managed to get the kiriban, by some odd grace, which works out nicely as the RiSo was intended for Sarah, and Nijuuni's one obviously intended for her? :P Mm, fate, I like it a lot.

And... so concludes my first *actual* update of the year :P I'm highly, highly sleepy - daylight savings is a bitch, two days ago this would've been midnight, and I DO NOT FUNCTION WELL IN THE HOURS EITHER SIDE OF MIDNIGHT. So I need to go fall unconscious, and hope my cat will cuddle up to me when I'm sleeping to keep me warm in these RAPIDLY COOLING NIGHTS :joy joy joy: Night all!

PS: Dude... is it just me, or does my entry have <   /   style    > (except not spaced out) right at the end? And... the sleepydoggie lj user thing, did I or did I not do it right?! LJ! LLLLJJJJJJJJ! *remembers the way LJ fucks with miiiiiiinds*



</style>
Current Location: Desk-us apparatus
Current Mood: [mood icon] sleepy
Current Music: Ice Dance, Edward Scissorhands OST

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March 24th, 2009


02:17 pm - WHEEEEEEEEEE!
ARGH, IT'S SO GOOD TO BE BACK ONLINE! I don't even know if anyone on LJ cares? I think most of the people who care are on dA? Either way, after nine weeks away, I FEEL THE NEED TO MAKE MY PRESENCE FELT!
Current Mood: [mood icon] cheerful

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December 17th, 2008


04:26 pm - Lol, slacker
Oh, for god's sake. Ad by Google beside this is: "Attract MR. RIGHT - 10 Secrets To Getting Your Man Hooked On You For Good". PLEASE. My feminist pride bristles at the mere idea. The only time I want secrets from the internet to hooking men is a) if I am a PIMP, or b) if I am going FISHING with SINKERS and BARBS.

Stopping outburst now :D Was blindsided, you see.

Um, yeah - there probably won't be any updates until, er, the new year. THAT'S ONLY ABOUT TEN DAYS, THOUGH! Y'see, SOMEONE now has a new, unscratched copy of FFXII, and that SOMEONE might or might not be playing it somewhat obsessively, sooooooooooooooo...

Yeah. :D
Current Music: Like a Version

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December 10th, 2008


12:04 am - Marching Ooooooooon!

Tchoi is firmly posted, with a good response so far, startling me violently because I stuck it up expecting the worst ^^; But, one mustn't look gift horses in the mouth... though why, I'm not sure, since that suggests giving in to illusion and letting all the nasties run amok behind your back while you're busy congratulating yourself on having scored a really big toy...

Anywaaaaaaay, I've begun Sink It In's next chapter. Haha, I'd forgotten how much easier it is to write chapters after a oneshot, and how fun it is to write this story. I'm disappointed to be giving them all up, even for a little while, because individually, I really love writing each and every one of them. It's just when it's all of them at once, le sigh... It's good, one way or another, to be working on the regular stuff again. Between WitWitah, TWL and Tchoi, I haven't been focusing very much just on the chaptered's anyway. Lol, I solemnly swear to not be writing oneshots, provided that I don't hit anymore invisible kiribans, that I have no reason/urge to give Sarah a oneshot giftfic (I have an actual Christmas present for her, so Christmas is clear! XP) and that Nijuuni doesn't do anything devastatingly inspiring X3

Mmmmmmph, off to bed now. Night-night, LJ peoples.
 


Current Location: broadband-less territory :(
Current Mood: [mood icon] sleepy
Current Music: Sink It In playlist

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December 7th, 2008


04:00 pm - Vegetables! Finally!
I figured it was time I started using this LJ a little more frequently. I've been doing all my writing-process updates on dA (in amongst spamming people with my ranting and memes and whatnot ^^;) and since this was set up specifically for the fanficcage, I really should resume that?

So, in which case: TCHOI IS FINIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISHED! The Cold Heart of It, 62 fricking pages long, ninety words shy of forty thousand, finished in *far* too long a period of time - now all that's left is the editing (and the double spaciiiinnnnggggggggg between paragraphs *dies*) . Pretty sure I need to take to the ending with a scalpel, major surgery required etc, but I'm generally happy with it. Haha, of course, once I've reread the entire fucking thing with my critical little eye, I'm quite sure I'll detest it, just like I end up with everything else - but for now I'm happy enough :D

It should be posted, complete with dedications, in about two days :D


Current Mood: [mood icon] accomplished
Current Music: Tchoi playlist

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November 4th, 2008


06:34 pm - Sooooo... Eheh...
I've been getting reviews lately urging me to update NegZ or MaH or Sink It In at the closest convenience, annnnd as a result I figured I'd better make things official...

So, last week, for those of you who don't read my ranting deviantART journals and thus are blissfully ignorant of my persisting insanity/hysteria, I burnt out. It was spectacular in all its fail :P I finally, finally conceded to the fact that my brain has been right all along, and I simply can't write four stories at the one time. My focus. Is. Shattered. There is no way for me to write a decent story when I can't concentrate on it properly, because I'm trying to get it updated for the people who've been waiting so long, or I'm eager to get back around to HTPD and am not even enjoying myself in other stories because of it... I mean, when I think back to how completely focused I was during TU - and just how exhausting it was doing that, just dealing with the one story - I wonder why I ever thought this was a good idea in the first place.

Everything but HTPD is officially on hiatus. I'll finalise it over the next few days on my FFnet profile, and I'm writing another short story at the moment, in the AN of which I'll announce it for the people that don't read any of my journals. Those who don't read the AN will be left wondering why the hell I stopped updating, I guess :P

HTPD is a really important plot for me, I really want to give it the kind of support TU had, because it's a lot more complex, and TU nearly broke my brain even then. I've developed this love of writing the shorties, because I drop everything and just focus, and coupled with my recent absolute exhaustion, it all just kind of culminated into a realisation that hurray, I have three other bases to come back to (one at a time) once Hearts That Pump Dust is complete, but attempting to do them all at once is ridiculous. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

So, summarising my babblesome ways: Everything on hiatus but HTPD and current shortie, but they WILL be resumed at a later date, and they WILL be a thousand times better for it. I am sick of writing what I view to be crap, simply because I'm too tired and distracted to make it decent.

*CONFETTI*


Current Mood: [mood icon] content
Current Music: Lacuna Coil

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October 14th, 2008


02:44 pm - PROSE WEEK
And so, it began, as so many things do at their beginning: “Prose Week” had commenced, dreamed up during in-between hours by the writer-cum-artist known most frequently and commonly as finem, whether that be inserted between colons along with the word ‘icon’, or accompanied by the term, ‘lj user=’ and converted to hypertext with greater-than and less-than symbols flanking it either side.

The narrator, of course, having shunned English Literature in high school as an utterly tiresome wank of poets, really had no clear idea how to define ‘prose’ itself, and was bound and doomed to make many mistakes in the next week in her attempt to write any and all communication in the form of a story. She wasn’t even certain that she was allowed to refer to herself as the narrator at all, but really wasn’t bothered either way. If she was indeed incorrect, she was certain that she would be informed of it by someone more enlightened, so that she could be knowledgeable as well as uncaring.

She encouraged any and all friends and writing aficionados to join the crusade – it was a fun, interesting exercise, and she guaranteed that they would all be thinking of themselves in third person before the end of the day. She fully expected to, at some point, answer her cell phone, for example, and announce to the startled caller, “Lauren answered her phone, and greeted questioningly, ‘Hello?’”

She also nagged, begged, and harangued said friends and aficionados, since the idea of a collection of people on the internet all speaking as if they had swallowed copies of Jane Austin’s works quite delighted her, especially when it would be for a solid week.

Review replies, which she had yet again fallen behind on, were suddenly looking like an adventure.

Current Mood: [mood icon] artistic
Current Music: emo!Axel playlist

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September 19th, 2008


12:52 pm - THOSE WHO LIIIIIE
Eheh, AND SPEAKING OF LIES... REMEMBER HOW I SAID I WAS GOING TO DO TWO CHAPTERS OF MAH?

Yeah, I lied.

Well, not really... not at the *time*... next chapter is 3/4 done, butbutbut... HANDS UP WHO SAW NIJUUNI'S DEV THE OTHER NIGHT? Those Who Lie (Lol, don't stick your hand up if I already KNOW you did). So, yeahhhhhhh, I got the go-ahead today to write a short story to it, which means that the next probablyyyyy - two weeks? Maybe? Will be caught up in writing it.

...I'M SO EXCITED. THERE'S ALREADY SO MUCH VIOLENCE. I LOVE WRITING VIOLENCE.

I ain't called Sadistic!Spice for nothin' ;D



Current Mood: [mood icon] artistic

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September 14th, 2008


09:59 pm - Fic statuseses...es... statii
Yay, Vincent! <3 Ugh, slow week for writing, sadly. SLOW LIKE CHINESE WATER TORTURE SLOW. But, I remain optimistic, as you do when strapped down having drops of water rained one by one onto your forehead!

I've decided to consider the Zemyx Day "contribution" as its own little chapter, and will commence the *proper* two updates very soon ;) I do have almost half the latest chapter done, but I've been working on two different collabs since HTPD, one with finem, and one with psychorooster. Lol, I have been the procrastinator in both, woe betide me, so I've been making an effort to catch up.

Also been sucking with review replies, but what else is new? ;)

I come bearing linkage! Chibibabe07 on FFnet made an MaH tribute video (should that be *a* MaH? Or is an correct? Technically, lack of vowel demands *a*, but... the vocalised letter is sounded with a vowel to begin it... *clamps down on grammar geek*)

ANYWAY, yes, a link to the Marked and Hunted tribute video on YouTube :D My socks were suitably rocked. My cat's chin is fluffy.

Also, having been put onto a brief YouTube binge, have been checking out KH crack and have decided I'm in love with the Emo Kid song.

" Dear Diary

Mood: Apathetic

My life is spiraling downward
I couldn’t get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert
It sucks cause they play some of my favorite songs like “Stab My Heart Because I Love You” and “Rip Apart My Soul” and of course “Stabby Rip Stab Stab” And It doesn’t help that I couldn’t get my hair to do that flippy thing either…Like that guy from that band can do...Some days, ya know...

My parents don’t get me ya know
They think I’m gay just because they saw me kiss a guy… Well, a couple guys. But, I mean it’s the 2000’s. Can’t 2…or 4 dudes make out with each other without being gay?
I mean, chicks dig that kind of thing anyways.
I don’t know diary, sometimes I think you are the only one that gets me. You’re my best friend.



I feel like tacos.
"

Lol, there's so much more, but I figured *all* the lyrics would be some epic spamming... but oh, I was entertained...




Current Location: ye olde desk
Current Mood: [mood icon] awake
Current Music: Advent Children OST ftw!

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September 4th, 2008


02:25 pm - Sour Watermelon Bubblegum
So, my sister and I are racing each other playing Sonic 2, and we're sitting there chewing grape gum (have refreshed said now-tasteless gum to the title flavour) and doing the casino level. I'm kicking her ass, because she can't help but try again and again at the pokies, aiming for the jackpot. Then she turns to me and resignedly says, "I think I have a gambling problem."
THEN, in a separate level, I've already beaten her (thirteen year handicap? Whut?) and Sonic's waiting, reclining on one elbow and looking bored, at the finish. Tails eventually catches up, and he's standing virtually on top of Sonic or, from the perspective of an EIGHT YEAR OLD, right between his legs.
"Look," she says to me, "he's giving Sonic a pop test."
I was forced to correct her. Tails was, in fact, giving Tails a pap test. It was like a fricking episode of "Kids Say the Darndest Things". XD I was entertained.

Totally moving on from HTPD for now. I've ridden out that little burst of enthusiasm, and am eager to, after working on a couple of collabs that have been neglected for way too long, start working on MaH.


Current Mood: [mood icon] amused

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August 26th, 2008


08:45 pm - GLAFF IN TEEF!!
I figured it was time to update this thing XD A few people have friended me over the last few weeks, and I haven't posted anything since my all-caps shriek about deleting so many emails... and I didn't respond to any of the comments people first even made on it because I was so frantically working on WitWitah... ^^; *turns leaf*

So, since my life has shit all happening in it, I shall go to the old fall-back of FANFICTION :D

My best friend Sarah went on holiday about a week and a half ago, and, due to the fact that she is undoubtedly my Muse, I ran around in a panic mental blocking for a while, as I do when I don't have her on 24/7 call (her end-of-year exams nearly killed me), before resolutely deciding I would use it instead to fuel me and drown her in chapters from various stories upon her return :P As a result, I've been working my ass off trying to get things done as quickly as possible, at the best quality that exists at such speed XP Three chapters await her, so far! *nobody cares* *a-COUGH*

There's a damn good chance HTPD will actually run for four chapters... Which heightens the likelihood that some of the MaH readers will come after me with baseball bats and a pretty toy railroad set to lynch me over (I keep getting asked if it's on hiatus XD), but I have this scene in my mind that I want to write up to, and then spend the next four weeks or so developing ideas for the next part while working on everything else. I want to leave it at a maximum-impact point :D

AND THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT. I'M GOING TO GO PLAY TWILIGHT PRINCESS UNTIL IT STOPS MAKING ME MOTION SICK. Nighty-night, LJ people.
Current Mood: [mood icon] artistic
Current Music: HTPD soundtrack ftw - "Prague" by Damien Rice

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August 5th, 2008


10:19 pm - (^o^)
LOL. I JUST DELETED OVER THREE THOUSAND EMAILS, THE ACCUMULATION OF EVERYTHING SINCE I FIRST STARTED FANFICCING BACK IN OCTOBER. I'M SCARED I MIGHT HAVE ACCIDENTALLY DELETED A PIECE OF MY SOUL OR SOMETHING. IT'S LIKE DRIVING TO SCHOOL, AND WHEN YOU GET THERE, SUDDENLY PANICKING THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE LEFT THE MOST IMPORTANT PROJECT OF THE YEAR AT HOME, WHEN IT'S ALREADY THREE DAYS OVERDUE.

O-ONLY I DON'T HAVE THE LUXURY OF CHECKING THE BACKSEAT TO FIND THAT YES, I BROUGHT IT.

I'M GOING TO BED NOW, AND HOPING I DON'T STILL HAVE THE FLU WHEN I WAKE UP.

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July 20th, 2008


11:38 am - Meme-a-licious
Taggity-taggered by: [info]finem

>>Okees!

♥ Tag 8 people to do this quiz & those who are tagged cannot(should not? XD) refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by & cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

8 ppl...le'see...

</b></a>[info][info][info]katie_avalanche [info]sleepydoggie
[info]lewdness
[info]wedgewood
[info]rainonparade
[info]kitfallen
[info]oblivionkeeper
</div>


In retrospect, probably shouldn't have done this whilst mildly depressed and tired.

Current Mood: [mood icon] blah

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July 9th, 2008


12:05 pm - CHANGE OF PLANS!
THE END OF SINK IT IN'S SECOND CHAPTER IS NOT! SENSUAL ENOUGH! I'm annoyed with myself now. Even when I think I'm being restrained, I still post chapters too hastily. There are sooooo many things I could have done with that - ugh.

As a result, I'm writing its third chapter now instead of in, like, five weeks time. I need to get things clear in my head about their attitudes and whatnot. I got too caught up in trying to translate Nijuuni's words into my own, that I completely overlooked the *point* of the frigging scene >.<!
Current Mood: [mood icon] annoyed

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July 4th, 2008


09:17 pm - Hahahahahaha
Oh, by the way, you can add a hysterical note to that laughter if you want, but I'm generally *not* flying apart - I was doing *that* *last* night, when I first decided it would be a cool idea to undertake another story.

...:D

After seeing Nijuuni's second-latest submission on dA: http://nijuuni.deviantart.com/art/AkuNo-Sink-It-In-Teach-Me-90396850 and reading the attached drabble, my mind was full-body tackled and there was nothing, NOTHING, I could do D: ...Except for frantically go and ask her permission to write a story based on it all. Which she gave me. So I'm now... writing a story based on the drabble and picture. And... it's the sequel to the 'Bus-Stop Boxer' drabble I did over on dA, despite the fact that, hey, IT'S UNWRITTEN, but I figured I'd go for that whole... 'Star Wars' effect, and do the sequel *first*. ...:D

And, uh, that brings us up to four. Chapter one is half complete. ...:D
Current Mood: [mood icon] busy

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July 3rd, 2008


11:04 pm - Hoo, Boy
I am taking a deep breath, and learning the art of time - fucking - management. This probably means updates will officially be slower - like, every two weeks instead of one, perhaps, to give myself a very brooooaaaad time-period (not that I can imagine taking two weeks for a single chapter under normal circumstances, but still). Mostly, the time-management will be to do with juggling the various projects, namely, doing it well rather than fumbling and putting pressure on myself due to self-imposed schedules.

I must repeat the mantra, "I am writing for myself as well as other people" fifty times before sleep EVERY NIGHT.

Not gonna. But I should.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, you guys. Am waiting. Will let you know what for when I get the verdict.
Current Mood: [mood icon] twitchy

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June 23rd, 2008


02:33 pm - HALLELUJAH!
Two things:

One - I've officially stopped biting my poor abused nails, so if you see me nibbling, slap me hard. (do with that statement what you will, god only knows I walked right into it)

And two: I JUST GOT A CALL FROM THE SCARIEST WOMAN ALIIIVE! My cell phone is like our general contact number since our regular phone died when my modem got melted (god bless its power-surged soul), and she called from my sister's school saying, in a most stern and severe manner, that it's the last week of term and we have an outstanding balance of like - nine-hundred dollars on the term's fees? And I go "*swing-jaw* I'll get my mum to call you..." thinking, Shitshitshit we're doomed, she'll have to drop out and be home-schooled because Steiner advances learning at a slower rate to state schools OMGWHAT'REWEGONNADO?! (Has anyone else ever watched 'Bratz'? No? Know the character Chloe, who's always freaking out? Yeah, that was me)

So, mum calls, it turns out to be cool since we have this fifty-per-week arrangement with the financier until my mum's inheritance from her great-aunt's will comes through (it's still in probate), but that the school's 'troubleshooter' (hereon after known as 'that bitch that scared the bejesus out of me and was mean') is calling everyone who hasn't finished paying their fees. Fun times.

Big... long... rambly story with little point except that someone spoke to me in a horrible manner. Oh, Steiner. Eleven-hundred per term (four terms in total) is just too much o_O

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